My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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