I heard we made out
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do cheetos always look like penises
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
