let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
wow bdsm is so cute
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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