apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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