i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
