I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
