the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
