Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
