I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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