Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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