you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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