everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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