You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
