I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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