Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
vagina is talking i cant
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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