Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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