my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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