I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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