as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize