I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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