no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
