Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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