they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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