My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
