Someone shit on the floor
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
