just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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