Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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