also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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