Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
