Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
