she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
