I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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