he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize