Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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