Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
