Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
