apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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