I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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