Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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