Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
