I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just had sex on a roof
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
