She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
