I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
one two three fourrrrnication!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
