I love black thongs
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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