So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
