Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
...so i touched it.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
