you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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