My first STD was from a foam party
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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