I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
