so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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