yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
