so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
