I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
