It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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