Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
