Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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