Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
